alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
