You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Randomize
