I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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