Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
