Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Randomize
