Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
she told me i tasted like america
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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