I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
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