i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
