We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
