so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
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