You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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