i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Oh god it's open bar.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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