In the future we'll all be gay
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
