so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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