i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
