He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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