Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Don't EVER smell your tampon
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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