Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
