Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
