Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
