Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
