At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
