its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
