i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
