no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
