a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
