I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize