I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
