My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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