i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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