Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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