She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
