margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
