If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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