am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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