Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
soo... how was my night?
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