she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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