i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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