he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
