So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize