It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I believe in your delicious
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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