my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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