i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
