Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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