Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Why did my mother make you get naked?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
