can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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