drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
