you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
