Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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