Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
