May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
we're so committed to being not committed
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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