5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
