it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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