this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
