I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
