somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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