so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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