Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm too high and old for this...
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