Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
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