plz talk dirty to me
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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