Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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