It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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